Best St. Patrick's day jokes

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Who’s in the mood for some good old St Patrick’s Day Jokes?

Although in Ireland St. Patrick’s Day still has a pretty religious tone to it, the rest of the world basically uses it as a time to get together, enjoy a drink or two (or 10) and tell a few corny Irish jokes.

So here’s what we have for you people to get into St. Patrick’s mood, some good ol’ jokes and the perfect green beer recipe.

Best St. Patrick's day jokes pot of gold and green beer

Traditional St. Patrick’s Day Jokes

Joke 1:

What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!

Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? Because they’re very short-tempered!

Joke 2:

“I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.”

“Oh, really?”

“No, O’Reilly!”

Joke 3:

What do you call a Cubic Zirconia in Ireland? A sham rock!

Why don’t women want to get engaged on St. Patrick’s Day? Because they don’t want to get a “sham rock”!

Joke 4:

There was a sign in a bar on St. Patrick’s Day: “Happy hour – all you can drink for $1.”

Murphy went up to the bar and said, “I’ll have two dollars’ worth, please.”

Best St. Patrick's day jokes cheers with green beer

Joke 5:

What do you call a potato that’s not Irish? A French Fry.

Joke 6:

Here’s a recipe for St. Patrick’s Day Irish stew:

Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness.

Drink all of the beer.

Forget about the stew.

Joke 7:

What do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins? Because they’re green! 

How did the Irish jig get started? Too many drinks and not enough restrooms!

Do leprechauns make good secretaries? Sure, they’re great at shorthand!

Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short.

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Best St. Patrick's day jokes to tell your friends

Joke 8:

Paddy walked into a bar on St. Patrick’s Day and started ordering martini after martini.

With each drink, he removed the olives and put them in a jar.

When the jar was filled with olives and he’d finished all the drinks, Paddy started to leave.

As he did so, a curious customer asked him, “Excuse me, but what was that all about?”

“Nothing really,” replied Paddy, “My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”

Joke 9:

Never iron a four-leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck!

What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls? Rick O’Shay!

That’s all the jokes we have for one day!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!